death by source

Alright, I have been going over my source and my ideas like whoa and am starting to feel as though Im getting somewhere.

Upon further examination of my source, I've broken it down into what it really means as well as the source behind the source.

I've realized that my work is nothing more than a shield, protecting me from outside pain. I also realized that I throw myself into my work to avoid the loneliness that could lead me to finding more that would lead to pain. My real and true source has been the marriage between me and my work, which was demonstrated nicely by using my personal music/lyric work outside of school.

So, with that said and possibly understood, I am really thinking differently about my final. Throughout this entire school year, I have been living up to my source by burying myself into music so far that I've conceived a fifteen song musical idea called FOUNDATION YEAR which is about my experiences this year. The entire theme behind it is the connection between life, love, and art. Love is questioned repeatedly throughout the lyrics. All I've been doing all semester this semester is questioning love and its different forms while keeping my shield up the entire time. Not looking for, looking at.

Okay, so now what. I don't want to focus on Paperclips anymore, one of the songs on Foundation Year. I want the entire spectrum of my thoughts on love, life, death, art, etc. to be represented in my final piece. I think I may be thinking of writing a little poetry book of sorts incorporting all fifteen poems.

With that, comes the idea an in class poetry reading of these poems. To go with everything I will also record a five minute orchrestratal piece of music incorporating all 15 songs music.

So, I will make a new book of poetry, I will dramatically perform select poems, and I will present an instrumental orchestral demo of foundation year.

Will post more thoughts and shit later when they come...think im finally moving now at least!