The Last Source

Over the course of the semester my source has really developed past my initial interests. When we were first told that we were to pick a source that we would be working with the entire semester, I knew I had to pick something good. I tried to think of a source that was meaningful to me in many ways.

My first ideas were marriage, loneliness, and contradiction. After further class discussion and searching deeper within I realized my interest in these three ideas was merely really a combined interest in the contradiction between paired lifestyles and single lifestyles.

When my source was to start to take shape from words to images, I quickly composed a pro and a con list for both being with someone and being by alone. I used my lists to come up with my ideas for my photos and then hit the town. Over the three weeks of images I to really show the contradictory as well as the complementary sides to both arguments.

Next we brought our images further to create an artist book. I stuck tight to my source, which I had now defined as a song I had written called Paperclips. The thought of paperclips took hold of me and I would not let go. I completed my artist book as structure of images and paperclips trying to further prove my point of how weak yet strong these bonds can create.

From my artist book I found my source, still defined completely by my song, in both sound and video. After doing so, I really started to want to focus my source in, and start to really examine my own relationships. This started after I had a personal experience with love that made me realize it wasn’t even what I thought I wanted.

I really started to shift my source towards these places in myself. I realized how my art work played even more a crucial role in my life than I had thought before. It keeps loneliness at bay but hinders new relationships. My art work is my jealous boyfriend who freaks out the second any one new comes anywhere near, but I'm okay with that, it really works for me.

That said I went into my final project wanted to reflect on my work. I originally wanted to finish my side project I had been doing all year, but with Lana’s directional assistance, approached a new idea, leaving Paperclips completely, to really try to show my relationship with my artwork, in all its beautiful glory.

From questioning love and what it was I wanted from love to learning that it’s my own personal relationship with myself and my artwork that completes me the way I thought only love of another person could. I feel my source and this class has really helped to open my eyes and see, despite my attempts to stick to one specific idea. Once I let go and let the source start speaking, everything came together, just they way I had hoped for.