death by source

Alright, I have been going over my source and my ideas like whoa and am starting to feel as though Im getting somewhere.

Upon further examination of my source, I've broken it down into what it really means as well as the source behind the source.

I've realized that my work is nothing more than a shield, protecting me from outside pain. I also realized that I throw myself into my work to avoid the loneliness that could lead me to finding more that would lead to pain. My real and true source has been the marriage between me and my work, which was demonstrated nicely by using my personal music/lyric work outside of school.

So, with that said and possibly understood, I am really thinking differently about my final. Throughout this entire school year, I have been living up to my source by burying myself into music so far that I've conceived a fifteen song musical idea called FOUNDATION YEAR which is about my experiences this year. The entire theme behind it is the connection between life, love, and art. Love is questioned repeatedly throughout the lyrics. All I've been doing all semester this semester is questioning love and its different forms while keeping my shield up the entire time. Not looking for, looking at.

Okay, so now what. I don't want to focus on Paperclips anymore, one of the songs on Foundation Year. I want the entire spectrum of my thoughts on love, life, death, art, etc. to be represented in my final piece. I think I may be thinking of writing a little poetry book of sorts incorporting all fifteen poems.

With that, comes the idea an in class poetry reading of these poems. To go with everything I will also record a five minute orchrestratal piece of music incorporating all 15 songs music.

So, I will make a new book of poetry, I will dramatically perform select poems, and I will present an instrumental orchestral demo of foundation year.

Will post more thoughts and shit later when they come...think im finally moving now at least!

Project ideas furthered

Thinking of my project ideas and what I should do for my final further, I realized a demo of many songs may be way too much...how about one really good thorough actual recording of paperclips instead.

I don't know. I gotta talk to Lana.

final ideas

Final final final. So much more work to do and such little time to do it in. Let’s review what I’ve done so far in order to better critique what my final piece should look like...

First thing we are going to have to hit upon is my source and what I’ve done with it. The original idea I had was marriage. Marriage quickly manifested itself into a sharper more precise source. The new source was an overall look at being involved vs. being single. The idea behind this was to look at both the positive and the negative of both to really show the effects of both. To do this, I first used photographic imagery. Photographic imagery really helped me dig deeper into my source, to find new meanings and to try to understand all the effects. After sequencing the images, I then created an artist book using paperclips (source material) and my images, but in much less legible forms. After capturing my source through my artist book, I then started listening for sounds of my source. This part was a synch. Naturally, after still images and sound, I brought my source to the big screen and created a two minute video about my source.

Another consideration to keep in mind is my independent musical endeavors. Early on in the source, I redefined my source as a song I had written. The lyrics and music spoke volumes towards my source statement. Everything involving my source involved my song too it seemed.

Finally, I want to remember that the intent of the music I am currently working on is an all around overview of love. I find that the source for this class and the concept for my musical are the same.

So from all that here I am at the final. After my realization mentioned in the paragraph above, I started thinking to myself, do I just want to make a video again? How far could I push this? What’s left?

So here it is, my BIGGER ideas then just a music video---which is still an idea. The music video would b a straight up 5 minute video for my song “Paperclips”. But thats really just what i’ve been doing. I want “Paperclips” to fall back into place with my other material. I want my little view of my big source to widen and I want to tackle it further than before.

So I’m thinking demo. My musical concept is fifteen songs long so I'm thinking somewhere between five and ten songs that really get to the heart of the material.

Another idea is performance of those five to ten songs. Straight up performance either live or video taped and shown. Performance is beautiful.

So there we have it. Music video for paperclips. 7 song demo. 7 song set. What will it be. Hmmmmmmmmmm.......

Final Cut...My experience in a poem

i once wanted to be a film maker

planned on days at emerson

dreams once got shattered

visions broken

so i decided to become a writer

sad to say this did not stick

for editing was not my forte

so i taught myself to draw some

this one's gotten me far

brought me into college

but now my love is piano

incorporating the writer

finally making sense

but i'll never forgot my love

my love of the camera

so now taking this here

required foundation studio

now using a camera again

my eye feels right

for i'm still at home

behind the lense cap.

ultimately leading me to a gay old time

in the world of final cut

for editing is tedious

and once turned me off

but now with understanding

and practice

and patience

i think i get the hang of it

oh, art

how you fill me

And so the plot thickens...

After taking my source through imagery, artist book, sound, and video, I have now created a two minute short bring my 5 videos clips together. It’s amazing having seen these ideas and thoughts that I once jumbled around my head unfold into so much more than imagined. I really love also seeing the life that my song Paperclips has taken on over the course of the course.

For the video I use my clip of my hands playing the song---and messing the song up---as my straight constant at minute clip. Halfway through the minute I messed with the opacity of the night driving clip and blended the two together until the hands hit a minute and the drive comes in full force.

For the second minute I continue to use my underlying shots of my hands and my driving but slice in clips of my grandmothers praying hands, my hands being washed in the sink, and Mr. Lexington (cat) sleeping.

The original intent of my video was for an entire nearly six minute long video using all the clips plus a few others for the song Paperclips as well. After successfully editing 3 minutes of it, I learned the assignment only called for a two minute video. I tried to just cut it down to 2 minutes but it just wasn’t the same without the other minutes to let it finish unfolding. So, I decided to create an assignment pleasing trailer version until I can finish the real one.

And so the plot thickens.

Video Sources

So upon further filming and 32 minutes of footage that somewhere contain my 5 one minute clips (gulp) I have further developed my ideas to film.


5 aspects

1. being with someone being a good thing --- grandmother praying moving shot around her 180 and going from long to close shot focusing on her hands --- something about my grandmother praying holding the rosary wearing her wedding ring while she is loosing her partner is something to me. More than words. 0:26:31:00 - 0:30:45:00

2. being with someone being a bad thing ---washing hands continuous shot scene --- the infamous washing away of the bad, this is one of the easier shots to figure out I feel 0:30:45:00 - 0:32:00:00

3. being alone being a good thing --- night shot moving hand footage --- the idea behind the night shot of the road is the idea of independence, freedom, and personal choice. To me the open road also is where I do a lot of thinking and have some of my best artist visions as well. 0:23:18:00 - 0:26:31:00

4. being alone being a bad thing --- cat sleeping medium shot to close up to medium hand held still --- my thought behind this is laziness and the negative affects of not having someone there to help you through, loosing your track, etc. 0:20:37:00 - 0:22:48:00

5. narration through music --- my hands playing paperclips steady shot continuous and narrative medium shot --- I work in music...this will become a video for my song in someway 0:05:55:00 - 0:11:34:00




and my logged footage:

0:00:00:00 - 0:05:55:00 paperclips longer view still shot
*0:05:55:00 - 0:11:34:00 paperclips hand view still shot*
0:11:34:00 - 0:12:34:00 piano as mountain range sliding shot
0:12:34:00 - 0:13:39:00 wall art work tour hand shot
0:13:39:00 - 0:15:19:00 me in mirror art hand shot
0:15:19:00 - 0:17:07:00 in the beginning drawing zooming
<0:17:07:00 - 0:18:06:00 pure unadulterated crap>
0:18:06:00 - 0:19:08:00 paperclip zooming moving footage
<0:19:08:00 - 0:20:05:00 foot petal still shot>
<0:20:05:00 - 0:20:37:00 walking outside continuos moving shot>
*0:20:37:00 - 0:22:48:00 cat sleeping hand held zooming*
<0:22:48:00 - 0:23:18:00 drink still hand held shot>
*0:23:18:00 - 0:26:31:00 night shot moving hand footage*
*0:26:31:00 - 0:30:45:00 grandmother praying moving zooming shot*
*0:30:45:00 - 0:32:00:00 hand washing still shot*

< > under a minute
* selected footage

Thus far...

I have thirty minutes of footage...ahhhhhhh....so not 5 one minute clips.....ahhhhhhh....well, here's some ideas as to the five that I somewhere have inside of this thirty minutes of maddnessssssss!

5 aspects

being with someone being a good thing---having someone to hold you---

being with someone being a bad thing---loosing them---grandma praying with rosary---continuos motion from her back to her from zooming into hands and rosary

being alone being a good thing---strength through artwork

being alone being a bad thing---

me and my piano---narrative in the sense of the music





My 5 clips

washing hands natural sunlight at lauras steady shot

drink going to empty continuous shot

cat sleeping meduim shot to close up to meduim hand held still

grandmother praying moving shot around her 180 and going from long to close shot

my hands playing paperclips steady shot continuous and narrative medium shot




hhhmmmmmmmm........